Co-parenting resources
Parenting Plan Template
Every section a court expects to see, explained plainly. Use this as a starting framework with your attorney or mediator, not as a substitute for one.
This is an educational guide, not a legal document. Parenting plan requirements vary by state, county, and judge. Have any plan you draft reviewed by a family law attorney in your jurisdiction before submitting it to a court.
What a parenting plan is and is not
A parenting plan is a written agreement that governs how separated or divorced parents will raise their children. It covers custody, scheduling, communication, medical decisions, education, and how disputes will be resolved.
It is not a measure of how much one parent loves their children. It is not a negotiating tool for who was right or wrong in the divorce. It is not a way to punish the other parent. The court's only concern is the best interest of the children. Plans that focus on limiting the other parent rather than supporting the children tend to be rejected by judges.
The best parenting plans are detailed enough to remove ambiguity but flexible enough to accommodate a child's evolving needs. They get harder to modify after they are in place, which is why getting it right at the start matters.
The complete template
11 sections. Each includes what to cover and why it matters.
Basic information and definitions
- Full legal names of both parents
- Children's names and dates of birth
- Current addresses of both parents
- Definition of "school year" and "summer" for your jurisdiction
- Definition of "holiday" if the list is not explicitly included
- Contact information for both parents (phone, email)
Courts need clear identification of every party. Including definitions prevents disputes about what terms mean later.
Legal custody
- Joint legal custody (both parents share major decisions) vs sole legal custody (one parent decides)
- Which specific decisions require joint agreement: school enrollment, medical procedures, religious upbringing, extracurricular activities
- How joint decisions will be made: process for reaching agreement
- What happens if parents cannot agree: tiebreaker (coin flip, parenting coordinator, mediator, court)
- Emergency medical exception: either parent can authorize emergency care
Legal custody is about decision-making authority, not where the child lives. Most plans include joint legal custody with a defined tiebreaker for impasse.
Physical custody and parenting schedule
- The specific schedule: which days/nights with which parent
- School-year schedule and summer schedule if different
- Transition times and locations
- Who is responsible for transportation at each transition
- What happens if a parent is unavailable: childcare hierarchy, notification requirements
- Right of first refusal clause (optional): if a parent needs childcare for more than X hours, offer the other parent the time first
Be precise. "Every other weekend" is not a schedule. Specify which weekend, what time on Friday, what time on Sunday, where the exchange happens.
Holiday and vacation schedule
- List of all major holidays and how they are divided (alternate years, split the day, fixed assignment)
- Thanksgiving: which parent in odd years, which in even
- Winter break: split by week, or alternate entirely year to year
- Spring break: alternate years or split
- Summer vacation: extended time with each parent (length, notice requirements)
- Mother's Day (always with mother) and Father's Day (always with father)
- Each child's birthday and each parent's birthday
- School events: concerts, graduations, games (both parents may attend vs alternating)
Holiday schedules override the regular rotation for the specified dates. Specify explicitly which schedule takes priority and when the regular schedule resumes.
Communication between parents
- Acceptable communication methods: text, email, app, phone
- Response time expectations for routine messages
- Emergency communication protocol
- Restrictions if any: no calls before 8 AM or after 9 PM
- Children's phone access: when each parent allows the children to call the other parent
- Rules about discussing the other parent in front of the children
For high-conflict situations, specify written-only communication for all non-emergencies. This creates a documented record and removes real-time escalation opportunities.
Education
- Which parent's address the child is registered in (affects school district)
- Access to school records, teacher communications, and parent portal for both parents
- Which parent attends school meetings if not both
- How school-related expenses are divided
- How decisions about school changes (switching schools, tutoring, special education) are made
- Process for school-year schedule changes due to school calendar
Medical and healthcare
- Who carries health insurance
- How out-of-pocket medical expenses are divided
- Both parents have access to all medical records and providers
- How non-emergency medical decisions are made jointly
- Emergency medical: either parent can authorize, notify other parent within 24 hours
- Mental health treatment: notification and consent requirements
- Dental, vision, and specialty care: how costs are split
Extracurricular activities
- Which activities are pre-approved vs require joint agreement
- How costs for activities are divided
- Transportation responsibility when an activity falls during the other parent's time
- Both parents may attend all performances, games, and events
- Notice requirement before enrolling a child in a new activity
Optional but worth including if both parents are active. Conflicts over activities are a common source of post-divorce litigation.
Relocation
- Notice requirement if a parent plans to move: 30, 60, or 90 days
- What constitutes a relocation requiring notice vs a local move
- How the parenting plan is modified if a relocation is approved
- Whether court approval is required for relocation
Most states have specific relocation statutes. Make sure any relocation provision is consistent with your state's law.
Dispute resolution
- Mediation required before any court filing for non-emergency disputes
- Name and contact information for agreed-upon mediator or parenting coordinator (or how one will be selected)
- Process for emergency disputes that cannot wait for mediation
- Which state and county has jurisdiction over any court proceedings
- Attorney's fees: each parent pays their own, or prevailing party rule
Having a defined dispute resolution process in the plan dramatically reduces the cost and emotional toll of future disagreements.
Modification procedure
- How informal modifications to the schedule are handled (written consent required)
- What constitutes a substantial change in circumstances that would justify a formal modification
- Frequency of scheduled reviews of the parenting plan (some families include an annual review)
Optional but useful. Makes it clear that informal schedule changes do not permanently modify the plan.
Common parenting plan mistakes
Vague schedule language
"Every other weekend" is not a schedule. Specify which weekend, exact start and end times, and where the exchange happens.
No holiday tiebreaker for odd/even years
Specify exactly which parent gets each holiday in odd years and which in even years. Do not leave any major holiday unspecified.
No transportation provision
Specify who drives to each transition, who picks up, and what happens if a parent cannot make the exchange.
No dispute resolution clause
Disputes that go straight to court cost thousands of dollars. Require mediation before any court filing for non-emergency issues.
No relocation notice requirement
If a parent moves without notice, the plan may become unworkable overnight. Require written notice 60 to 90 days in advance.
Informal modifications treated as permanent
Make clear in the plan that schedule changes agreed to informally do not permanently modify the plan. Get all modifications in writing.
Punitive restrictions with no basis in child safety
Courts look unfavorably on provisions designed to limit the other parent's relationship with the child without a safety rationale. Focus on the child, not the other parent.
Parenting plans for high-conflict situations
A standard parenting plan assumes both parents will interpret ambiguous situations in good faith. High-conflict plans do not. They specify everything.
If you are in a high-conflict situation, consider adding these provisions that are unusual in standard plans but become essential:
Written-only communication: no phone calls except for child medical emergencies
Response window: 24 to 48 hours for routine messages, no immediate-reply requirement
Third-party or school exchanges: no direct contact at transitions
Right of first refusal: minimum hours threshold before the other parent has to be offered the time
Parenting coordinator identified by name or selection process
Specific prohibition on discussing legal proceedings with or in front of the children
Prohibition on making negative statements about the other parent to or in front of the children
Documentation of all schedule deviations required (date, time, reason)
Two Paths app
The app that makes your parenting plan easier to live with
Shared custody calendar, encrypted messaging, expense tracking, GPS check-ins, and court-grade documentation. When communication gets difficult, the Message Decoder helps you understand what is actually being said before you respond. A licensed LMFT (Cindy Weathers) is available for personal written reviews at $19.99.
Frequently asked questions
What is a parenting plan?
A parenting plan is a written agreement between separated or divorced parents that specifies how they will raise their children after the separation. It covers where the children will live and when, how major decisions will be made, how the parents will communicate, how holidays and vacations will be handled, and how disputes will be resolved. Most courts require a parenting plan as part of any custody order.
Does a parenting plan need to be approved by a court?
If you want it to be legally enforceable, yes. A parenting plan signed by both parents can be submitted to a court for approval and incorporated into a court order. Once it is a court order, violations have legal consequences. Some parents choose to operate under an informal agreement, but this is risky because informal agreements are not enforceable. If one parent stops following it, you have no legal recourse without going back to court.
Can parents write their own parenting plan without a lawyer?
Yes, parents can write a parenting plan themselves. Many courts have template forms available. However, having a family law attorney review the plan before submitting it to court is strongly recommended. Ambiguous language is one of the biggest sources of future conflict. An attorney can identify provisions that a judge may reject or that create enforcement problems later.
What happens if one parent violates the parenting plan?
If the plan is a court order, violations can be enforced through a contempt motion. A contempt finding can result in make-up parenting time, modification of the order, fines, or in serious cases, jail time. Documenting violations consistently is critical: dates, times, what was supposed to happen, what actually happened. This documentation is the foundation of any enforcement action.
How detailed should a parenting plan be?
As detailed as necessary to remove ambiguity. Vague parenting plans are the most common source of post-divorce litigation. If a provision requires ongoing judgment calls and agreement between two people who are already in conflict, it will eventually fail. Every major scenario should be explicitly addressed: which parent handles school-year medical appointments, what happens when school is canceled, how sports conflicts with the schedule are resolved, and so on. More detail upfront means fewer disputes later.
Can a parenting plan be changed after it is signed?
Yes. Parents can agree to modify a parenting plan at any time if both consent. If one parent wants to change and the other does not, a court modification requires showing a substantial change in circumstances: a parent moving, a child's needs changing significantly, a parent's work schedule changing, or demonstrated harm under the current arrangement. Courts prefer stability and set a meaningful bar for modifications.
What is a parenting coordinator?
A parenting coordinator is a neutral professional (often a family therapist or attorney) appointed to help parents implement a parenting plan and resolve minor disputes without returning to court. They are common in high-conflict cases. Their decisions are typically binding within the scope of the plan, but major modifications still require court approval. Having a parenting coordinator identified in the plan itself is especially useful in high-conflict situations.
Once the plan is in place, Two Paths helps you live it
Custody calendar, shared communications, expense tracking, and documentation. Premium starts at $14.99/month.
This guide is educational content only, not legal advice.