Glossary

Last updated: May 16, 2026

Co-parenting has its own vocabulary. The terms below come up across the Two Paths guides, blog, and message decoder. Each definition is written to stand on its own so you can copy, paste, or share without needing the rest of the site.

BIFF

Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm.

A response framework developed by Bill Eddy for communicating with high-conflict people. A BIFF response is brief (a few sentences at most), informative (sticks to facts), friendly (neutral tone, no sarcasm), and firm (does not invite further conflict). Used to defuse manipulative or escalating messages while creating a clean record.

See also: Message Decoder, Co-parenting with a narcissist

DARVO

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

A manipulation tactic where the person being confronted Denies the behavior, Attacks the accuser, and Reverses Victim and Offender, framing themselves as the wronged party. Common in high-conflict separations and narcissistic patterns. Recognizing DARVO in real time helps avoid getting pulled into defending against a false reframe.

See also: Co-parenting with a narcissist, Message Decoder

LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

A state-licensed mental health professional with specialized training in relational and family systems. LMFTs hold a graduate degree, complete supervised clinical hours, and pass a national licensing exam. Cindy Weathers, LMFT provides the expert review service for Two Paths users. Note: Two Paths review services are non-clinical and decision-support only; they do not establish a therapist-client relationship.

See also: Cindy Weathers, LMFT review service

Grey Rock

A deliberately low-engagement communication style for high-conflict situations.

Grey rock means responding in ways that are short, neutral, factual, and boring. The goal is to give a manipulative or high-conflict person nothing to react to — no emotion, no overshare, no engagement with provocations. Useful for co-parenting with someone who escalates on any opening. Pairs well with BIFF for written communication.

See also: Co-parenting with a narcissist, Parallel parenting

Parallel Parenting

A structured, low-contact co-parenting approach for situations where collaborative co-parenting is not safe.

Parallel parenting reduces direct contact between co-parents to a minimum. Each parent makes day-to-day decisions independently in their own household. Communication is limited to written channels (often court-monitored), focused on logistics, and follows strict rules about tone and content. Used when one parent is high-conflict, abusive, or refuses to collaborate. The goal is to insulate kids from ongoing conflict.

See also: Parallel parenting guide, High-conflict co-parenting

High-Conflict Co-Parenting

A co-parenting dynamic marked by frequent disputes, manipulation, or refusal to cooperate.

High-conflict co-parenting is the chronic state of dispute, blame, and control attempts between separated parents. Often involves a personality-disordered or chronically conflictual co-parent. Standard co-parenting advice (be flexible, communicate more) often makes high-conflict cases worse. The right tools are structure, documentation, low-contact communication, and clear records.

See also: High-conflict co-parenting guide, Parallel parenting

Custody Schedule

The pattern by which custody time is divided between two co-parents.

A custody schedule sets the rotation that determines whose day it is. Common patterns include 2-2-3, 5-2-2-5, every-other-week, and 3-4-4-3. Schedules can be 50/50, primary/secondary, or any other split. Two Paths supports all standard patterns plus custom schedules and one-time overrides with co-parent approval.

See also: Custody schedules hub

2-2-3 Schedule

Two days with parent A, two days with parent B, three days alternating.

The 2-2-3 schedule means: parent A has the kids Monday and Tuesday, parent B has them Wednesday and Thursday, parent A has Friday-Saturday-Sunday. The following week flips. Each parent never goes more than five days without seeing the kids. Often recommended for younger children who benefit from frequent contact with both parents.

See also: 2-2-3 schedule guide

5-2-2-5 Schedule

Five days with parent A, two with B, two with A, five with B.

The 5-2-2-5 schedule gives each parent a stable five-day block plus a shorter two-day block per two-week rotation. Kids get longer stretches with each parent, which works well for school-age and older children. Each parent has the same days of the week consistently, which can make scheduling easier.

See also: 5-2-2-5 schedule guide

50/50 Custody

Equal time-sharing between co-parents.

A 50/50 custody arrangement gives both parents an equal share of physical time with the kids. Specific patterns include 2-2-3, 5-2-2-5, every-other-week, and 3-4-4-3. The right pattern depends on the child's age, school schedule, and the parents' work schedules.

See also: 50/50 schedule patterns

Custody Override

A one-time deviation from the regular custody schedule.

A custody override is a single-day change to the standard schedule, agreed to by both parents. Common reasons: vacation, illness, work travel, a child's event. In Two Paths, override requests require co-parent approval, and the record is preserved for documentation.

See also: Two Paths custody calendar

Custody Exchange

The physical handoff of children between co-parents.

A custody exchange is the moment kids move from one parent to the other. In high-conflict cases, exchanges are common flashpoints. Two Paths supports GPS-timestamped check-ins and handoff notes to document each exchange (where, when, what was communicated).

Handoff Note

A short message documenting meals, mood, meds, or other details at a custody exchange.

A handoff note captures what the receiving parent needs to know: when the kids last ate, current mood, medications administered, anything that happened at school. In Two Paths, handoff notes are shared and timestamped so both parents have the same record.

Deviation Log

A record of times the custody schedule did not go as planned.

A deviation log captures schedule disruptions: a parent showing up late, a missed exchange, a refused override. The log creates a documented pattern over time that can be useful in mediation or court if the dispute escalates.